I was just thinking today about how much friendship dynamics change as our lives do. I miss hanging out for hours and hours laughing and goofing off..with what seemed like not a care in the world. I still have fantastic friends. The ones that still remain are very high quality. I know if I really need someone, I have friends to turn to. But, I do miss the days before full-time jobs, children, and responsibilities. It seems these "grown-up" changes made the endless hours with friends seem almost like a task rather than a pleasure.
I miss my time to hang out wherever and whenever, but I am so busy with kids, and cleaning, and chores, activities, and all the "things" that I have to do that it just exhausts me. I miss sitting on my couch alone with my best friend talking about all we have going on, giggling about who-knows-what, and sharing things we probably shouldn't with each other. I miss the opportunity to have meaningless fun with other people to take my brain away from everything else (without a screeching child interrupting or a spontaneous "ring around the rosy" mid-conversation").
It is just one of those trade-offs that happen in life, and it is most likely temporary. One day, I'll be wishing for this precious time back with my boys. Their youth gives me so much to do, and it limits my options on what I do and when I do it....but I still have a LOT to do. Fun things to do. I get tired... But, I get to see them grow, and change, and they are SO funny and cute. I'm sure in some-number of years, I will be whining to my girlfriend across the room that my babies are growing too fast, and I wish I could just sit at home and play with them for several more years. I'll have all the time I want for friends whenever and wherever, and I'll wish the clock would turn back... once again.
It is sort-of that "if you have curly hair you want straight, and if you have straight hair you want curly" or the "grass is greener in the other pasture" phenomenon. I tend want something different than what I have, it seems. Yet, that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the current, while I anticipate the future, and reflect on the past.
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:) I totally know what you mean. My 2(and nick's 2 also) drive me nutty while they're here, but let em be gone for 5 minutes and I'm missing them already. I think I made a pretty good trade off though, all the memories these kids have given me are so much more powerful than those I created myself runnin' around and doing who knows what "back in the day"...
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