Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The lovers need to be loved.

As humans, we all have that undying need to have love, be loved, and give love.  It is a need like no other.  It is something that differs in necessity for us all, and yet we all need it.  It is inborn.  Some give love. Some show it outwardly in the form of gestures, hugs, kisses, complements, and the like.  Some present it in the form of laughter and kindness, as the late Robin Williams did. Some feel uncomfortable showing love, even if they want to.  Some do not.  Many of my best friends feel allergic to hugging, and I find that hilarious, and I respect that entirely.  We all have our own distinct patterns of showing each other we care, and in turn, we have our own requirements on how much we desire in return. There are different methods.  It doesn't fit a mold.

And, haven't we all known that happy, funny, loving, and caring person, the one who always lifts us, makes us feel joy, and who seems to always be on top? The hugger, the lover, the laugher, the caller, the inquirer, the strong one. There are so many types of this particular person.  There are so many people who take it upon themselves to fill voids, to hug when hugs need to be given, and who make jokes to turn frowns and sad feeling into laughter... into forgetfulness.

But, isn't it that same sweet, kind, fun-loving individual who seems so full of love who is always seeing the dark side in order to turn it into light? Isn't that same kind person thinking of your sadness as they are turning it into happiness, even for a brief moment? Wouldn't it make sense that those who need love the most, give it the most? Or maybe it is the people who hide their grief the most, who need to be shown more?

Either way, I wish people showed each other their love more. I mean, I wish they REALLY showed it. Don't get me wrong, I know some people have a really hard time with overt expressions. I get it. But, I think about the people I have lost. I think about how I wish I had spoken to them, called them...just one. more. time.  I wish I had wrapped my love around those people.

And, even more importantly, what about the people who envelope their sadness, overtly giving love, and inwardly wishing someone would make them laugh, give them a hug, tell them "I love you"? I wonder just how many people are out there who really need love... I am sure someone would give them love, but they won't ask.  They just will not.

As for myself, I do love outwardly. I hug. I tell people I love them regularly. I am happy, and I joke and laugh A LOT (sometimes too much).  I love to make the people around me feel good, welcome, loved, happy, and show people how much I care.  Most of the time I am genuinely happy and am sufficed by giving.  BUT....I also experience pain. I don't regularly show it. In fact, I try to hide it most of the time.  I think people forget about those of us who don't show our sadness or needs.  Having endurance, that strength I give to others, is sometimes exhausting.  And, if I do (which isn't often) get sad and need someone to show me kindness, I SHALL NOT ASK FOR IT (Insert giggle here).

Having said that, I wouldn't change that I love a lot.  I want to.  I love the way it makes me feel to love.  It is just I wish that as a society, we all loved a lot... I wish we told each other more when we needed love.  I wish I was better at knowing when and what. I wish it was okay to ask for love and then receive it.  I imagine people who are extremely depressed to be salvageable by the love of others.

I see the publicized suicidal deaths of celebrities, which is just a representation of a larger population in ways... and I wonder... If that person had just SEEN...JUST SEEN this outpouring of love of them prior to them taking their lives, would they have even considered it.  I think love eases pain.  Laughter IS the best medicine, after all ;) Seriously though, we should all show..in our own ways of course, the love we know we should to the people we know we should.  Does that make sense?

Life and time here are short.

But all-in-all, I think you get my point... We get firm, rigid.  We don't do what we should all the time, and we don't think about the invisible needs of others...others that we adore but just don't consider.  I know I don't always do what I should OR even recognize that which I would if I JUST put some thought into it.  So, in the memory of Robin Williams, his laughter, kindness, and even his sadness...And, for all the silent sufferers out there...Go hug someone, brighten someones day, or tell them how much you love them.  Give something to someone in your own way.  You never know how much they might need it. It IS the small things that add to be big things!!


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