I have achieved a new level of awesomeness...

I don't mean that I am awesome. (Although, I am not necessarily saying I am not totally awesome, either. haha). What I mean is that I FINALLY have learned a more holistic type of FUN. F-I-N-A-L-L-Y.

It is a totally new level on my life reminiscent scale. It really is.

I had a hard time growing up, and I was quite a stiffy at times. In case you aren't familiar with the technical term "stiffy", I am referring to my lack of ability to just let loose and be myself. I put myself into a shell. I was always trying to be perfect, and I worried about what people thought or how they might react. I was so caught up in how I would appear that I didn't really think about what I wanted or wanted to experience for myself. Or, maybe I did think about it some, but I didn't have the cohones to actually do it.

I tend to try my best and be a bit of a perfectionist. The problem with perfectionism is that it is a completely flawed concept. Trying your best and expecting a lot is one thing...a wonderful insightful life approach, but being a perfectionist just leads to disappointment after disappointment.

The truth is that we only have a limited time to do what we want in life. If someone asked ME what I want out of life, excluding the obvious firsts...other people...I would have to say that I want to be happy and loved. Happiness is a harder asset to come by than most people give it credit for. You can find happiness in simple things, but life in general is tough.

So, what have I learned? I have learned that memories and actions like dancing madly in public, or laughing a little too loud, or singing "I Put A Spell On You" dressed like a beat up zombie character, or running through the racks at Wal-Mart playing peek-a-boo with my kids, and giving life a huge dose of zest makes me happy. It is FUN! Where o' hath thou' been, fun? (I wish I had learned to do this earlier in life, but I'm also glad that I have come to such a revelation in the present).

I don't care what the "stiffies" think, and I refuse to be a stiffy. I know the ones who truly love me will love me for my fervor for life. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my life. I have bad days, we all do...but I've learned to counteract the toughness in life with something called FUN! A warning to those around me, I intend to be a total embarrassment to myself and my children for most of the remainder of my life, but yet not feel embarrassed in the slightest ;) I intend to bask in my imperfections!

If you haven't acted a complete and harmless fool lately. I highly suggest that you try it!!